THE FUTURE!!!

Sorry that it's been so long, but I've been incredibly busy and lacking motivation. So, now I'm getting to this as I have a paper, scratch that, two papers, I could be writing right now! But, I'm waiting to jump in the shower so I can feel a bit more relaxed and then I'll start them. Even though I know that I'm going to regret staying up so late in the morning. Oh well, I guess that's life.

I suppose the most obvious thing to do would be to talk about why I've been so damn busy. In short, I'm taking on a lot at school, and though I'm certain I can handle it the lack of sleep is starting to interfere a bit. And, as much as I would like to sleep more it's just not in the cards right now. I'm tossing and turning at night sick with worry about everything, and at the same time nothing at all! In fact, things are going pretty good right now, especially considering how they could be! Point is I'm stressing myself out about everyone else and not focusing on me which is against my own mantra of "Me before you, I have to put up with myself more!"

I've never realized how awful that makes me sound, but I don't really care!

At the top of my worries now is college and the future, which I swear is going to cause a mental break down for me at some point! I think that I have my college picked out, which comes after a disastrous run with the guy from Michigan State today. He made the college seem so, inaccessible? (I'm not certain if that's the word I really want) But, I've been to State before, I've stayed the night there, used the showers, etc. I just don't like it. It's not the school for me and I don't think I'm going to lose any sleep over that. I do however love everything about Eastern Michigan and see myself enjoying it very much. Though, I'm not looking forward to paying the application fee. It's not so much that I'm cheap it's just I run on $20 a week, so you could see why $30 is a little hard to do. Especially because I need to have that application in by Friday.

So, with one future problem out of the way I'm still faced with a second: what do I want to study? I know, that I don't HAVE to have this picked out now, but I'd like to have a good idea. It's just the kind of person I am. Yes, I have this narrowed down to two things, but they are so different and it's hard for me to really pick. Also, because everyone thinks both would be a great fit for me they are unable to give me insight beyond, "I think you'd be good and enjoy both". Pisses me off! The first is that I want to Teach History, though the path I would take would be Secondary Education with a Major in Social Studies and a double minor in History and Biology. It may seem a little weird to take a double minor and one in Biology, but it makes me a little more employable with something science on my resume. The second thing that I'm looking into is Health Care Administration, which would lead to me running the business side of a nursing home or hospital. I know this seems really lame. . .but, if I did this I would eventually want to open up a care home in a foreign country where that kind of thing isn't as accessible. xD It's a weird dream but I'd like to think that I'd be contributing in some way.

So, those are what I'm looking into and I have NO clue what to do! Some advice might be good! Even some encouragement or something, I really don't care. I just really want someone to tell me that this will work its self out and I'll grow up to be successful and happy; because right now I'm worrying my ass off about it!

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Thanks for reading my complaining.

Now, I want to know what your worries are or were when you were my age. :D


Patricia Petibon makes things just that much more bearable.