Monday, October 26, 2009

THE FUTURE!!!

Sorry that it's been so long, but I've been incredibly busy and lacking motivation. So, now I'm getting to this as I have a paper, scratch that, two papers, I could be writing right now! But, I'm waiting to jump in the shower so I can feel a bit more relaxed and then I'll start them. Even though I know that I'm going to regret staying up so late in the morning. Oh well, I guess that's life.

I suppose the most obvious thing to do would be to talk about why I've been so damn busy. In short, I'm taking on a lot at school, and though I'm certain I can handle it the lack of sleep is starting to interfere a bit. And, as much as I would like to sleep more it's just not in the cards right now. I'm tossing and turning at night sick with worry about everything, and at the same time nothing at all! In fact, things are going pretty good right now, especially considering how they could be! Point is I'm stressing myself out about everyone else and not focusing on me which is against my own mantra of "Me before you, I have to put up with myself more!"

I've never realized how awful that makes me sound, but I don't really care!

At the top of my worries now is college and the future, which I swear is going to cause a mental break down for me at some point! I think that I have my college picked out, which comes after a disastrous run with the guy from Michigan State today. He made the college seem so, inaccessible? (I'm not certain if that's the word I really want) But, I've been to State before, I've stayed the night there, used the showers, etc. I just don't like it. It's not the school for me and I don't think I'm going to lose any sleep over that. I do however love everything about Eastern Michigan and see myself enjoying it very much. Though, I'm not looking forward to paying the application fee. It's not so much that I'm cheap it's just I run on $20 a week, so you could see why $30 is a little hard to do. Especially because I need to have that application in by Friday.

So, with one future problem out of the way I'm still faced with a second: what do I want to study? I know, that I don't HAVE to have this picked out now, but I'd like to have a good idea. It's just the kind of person I am. Yes, I have this narrowed down to two things, but they are so different and it's hard for me to really pick. Also, because everyone thinks both would be a great fit for me they are unable to give me insight beyond, "I think you'd be good and enjoy both". Pisses me off! The first is that I want to Teach History, though the path I would take would be Secondary Education with a Major in Social Studies and a double minor in History and Biology. It may seem a little weird to take a double minor and one in Biology, but it makes me a little more employable with something science on my resume. The second thing that I'm looking into is Health Care Administration, which would lead to me running the business side of a nursing home or hospital. I know this seems really lame. . .but, if I did this I would eventually want to open up a care home in a foreign country where that kind of thing isn't as accessible. xD It's a weird dream but I'd like to think that I'd be contributing in some way.

So, those are what I'm looking into and I have NO clue what to do! Some advice might be good! Even some encouragement or something, I really don't care. I just really want someone to tell me that this will work its self out and I'll grow up to be successful and happy; because right now I'm worrying my ass off about it!

(If you don't have an account on this sight send me responses via Facebook, Myspace (Myspace./hemanthemannequin) or Email (Hemanthemannequin@gmail.com)

Thanks for reading my complaining.

Now, I want to know what your worries are or were when you were my age. :D


Patricia Petibon makes things just that much more bearable.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A pick me up?

I had a short, but stimulating conversation with Sandrik today. We were talking about 1812 Overture and he said, "It gives me chills, brings tears to my eyes, and makes me laugh uncontrollably at sufficiently high volume." In which, I responded, ". . . Well, I think the best kind of music is the music that has the ability to make you feel. ^_^ No matter what the feeling is." And so I wanted to talk about this just a bit. But, I'm just going to use one song, or more one performance of this song.

No matter how bad I feel, I have found that Song to the Moon, composed by Antonin Dvorak and preformed by Lucia Popp. It's only this rendition of the aria that has such an uplifting ability on me. I don't know if it's Lucia's mastery of vocal technique or the sweetness that embodies her timbre. Either way, it has always had a profound effect on me.

I believe that Lucia Popp is preforming the song in Czech, but here are the words in English.

"Silver moon upon the deep dark sky,
Through the vast night pierce your rays.
This sleeping world you wonder by,
Smiling on men's homes and ways.
Oh moon ere past you glide, tell me,
Tell me, oh where does my loved one bide?
Tell him, oh tell him, my silver moon,
Mine are the arms that shall hold him,
That between waking and sleeping
Think of the love that enfolds him.
May between waking and sleeping
Think of the love that enfolds him.
Light his path far away, light his path,
Tell him, oh tell him who does for him stay!
Human soul, should it dream of me,
Let my memory wakened be.
Moon, oh moon, oh do not wane, do not wane,
Moon, oh moon, do not wane..."

This is actually the first time I've read those words as well, and I will admit I enjoy them, but they do nothing for me. It's just the emotion that Lucia Popp has. So, here she is.



(Just as a note here, I don't know if that is going to show up in a block of code or as a video.)


Now, that I have all that out I want to hear the one song that has the power to change whatever mood you're in and uplift it. If you don't mind i'd like to know why as well. :D


Sunday, October 11, 2009

I wanted to do this either way.

Well, I suppose this is the start, though what it will amount to will probably be very little. It started because I go to various blogs, two, that I'll link at the bottom, everyday and read what they have to say because I find their words entertaining or even a little motivational. So why not do this myself? Who is to say my thoughts are not as important or insightful as theirs? Or for that matter who is to say your thoughts are not important and insightful. I guess it all be part of that , "some people are better than others" stuff that we all buy into. And, whose to say I've not bought into it as well? Maybe it's something I need to work on. . .

I feel as if I've contradicted myself several times over already. See, this is what happens when I work without Sarah! (Who commonly does all my editing and is responsible for my excessive use of commas!)

So, I just did some investigating. I wanted to see how easily it is to interact with the website, like leave comments on the blog and stuff and it doesn't seem to be to hard so I want to ask a question.

What do you want to see me writing about? In my mind it's going to end up be a collection of weird little things I find, art, music, good books, etc. but also it will be some of my own political views and other ideas like that; and of course what blog wouldn't be complete without some rambling about ones own life. . .and talk of celebrities. So far, five people said they would read my blog. I expect to get five comments at least! (If you don't have a blogger user name or whatever contact me via myspace, facebook, twitter, or email.)

It's late, I'm off to bed!

Blogs I read:
http://anette-olzon.blogspot.com/
That is Anette Olzon, the lead singer of the band Nightwish. She is amazing! She is funny, nice, insightful, entertaining, and throws in a bunch of stuff about fashion! :]

http://www.breaktheillusion.com/
Davey Wavey's blog, which I started to read because I follow him on youtube, he is funny, cute, and VERY insightful. Plus he never has a shirt on and who doens't like that, if you know what I'm saying. :P